June 12, 2013. Today felt like an angry day and I see hues of red lashing out in my mind. My dream last night didn't feel right; waking up didn't feel right this morning. I wasn't in the mood for civilization today but I dragged myself out of bed to meet up with some of my tour friends and make plans for the weekend. I printed out some college applications for me and Chryss tonight just so it would seem a bit more real to me. Back to school again tomorrow. Summer has been playing games, giving us a day off just to throw us back into that dreary place the day after. I feel anxiety pool over me when I think about school. I don't like being confined inside those walls. There are still people who make me shiver on the inside but there are also those that give me a warm sense of security, and that alone makes waking up awfully early worth it. Still, my mind cannot fathom how obtaining "quality education" can leave me feeling passionless. I don't know what I want anymore. I don't like Journalism. There are too many rules. I've convinced myself to write every single day of  senior year, weekends included, so that I don't forget things, so that I don't get stuck in a rut, so that I'll feel time go through me day by day. I'll know my elective tomorrow. No matter how much I'd want to take Anatomy, I think it will just make me want to drink more coffee so dear Lord, there must be a good reason if I find myself in the Biology lab poring over the skeletal system this year. Let's hope not. Here is another long rambling paragraph. I'm sorry. I can't help it.