14 memories of 13

1. 13th birthday. That was one of the best birthdays. One that I won't ever forget. One that still pierces through my mind occasionally and brings a smile to my face and feelings of nostalgia.That afternoon. Shooting Ibong Adarna with the P8. It was raining. We had just arrived from Rob. Then, they put some girly tiara on my head and spoon feed the melted ice cream. To top it all off, there was a video cam. The rain scene. Coming home late. Chryssie's letter. Family dinner. Who could forget that? I really miss the P8.
2. What was left of  my first year of highschool. Suicidal cases. The last few P8 meet-ups. Late projects and such. SMG meet-up incident. 
3. Summer. Post-school depression. I knew I would be detached from several people, from the P8 and in a way, I guess I was right. I struggled to make it meaningful but I had too much time in my hands. It all went to waste. Nerve-wracking piano recital, hands down. Sims 2, haha. That last-minute vacation, though, was the best. Geckos, cousins, sea urchins and Princess.
4. Second year. The dismay that came with the realization that I was separated from my two of my closest friends, my security blanket. The following realization that it wasn't so bad, after all. 
5. Friendship struggles. The ones I kept to myself. The ones that always cluttered my mind. The little things. 
6. Finding someone who listened. Getting closer to someone who I never thought I would become friends with. 
7. Extemporaneous speech and receiving the news that Ms. Belleza was leaving for China. All in one night. 
8. Feeling afraid of losing you. Losing people. There came a denial phase.
9. That's when that conflict happened. I think, in a way, it destroyed everything. I think it broke me a little. I think it made me more of a pessimist. 
10. Realizing who my true friends really were. Feeling thankful after every conversation, after every laugh I shared with them, after every smile they plastered to my face. 
11. Hating my dad. Still hating him. Still hating his curses. Still hating how he made me cry just now, 17 minutes before my birthday. Way to go. As if I'll get anything worthwhile from you. I won't.
12. Pessimism. Feeling alone in the midst of my own group mates. Struggling to feel happy every single day. I've achieved some kind of temporary happiness recently. That's a start. Despising you. Kind of feeling like a second option. Feeling quite scared of losing people but that pull in the gut that tells me to just let go. Not abiding by the commands of that pull in the gut. Drifting away from you guys. It's sad but it's not the same anymore. 
13. Getting closer to those endearing people who make me smile every day. People who are not even in my circle of friends. People who make me happy :)
14. Today. Today was great. Thank you. I love you. 

Bye 13.