Saturday, November 12, 2011

I don't make sense, I know.

  • I feel scared. Stating it some other way would give away the reason why. A whole bunch of what ifs are swimming through my mind. It's quite horrible. 
  • That cliche "alone in a crowded room". The feeling is so familiar. I know it so well, and I've felt it way more than I should. 
  • I've come to thinking that when it comes down to picking out my true friends, I've only got two. I have friends I care so much for, that I can't stand to permanently hate them no matter how much I get hurt; I have friends, yes, but I have no guarantee whatsoever that they'll stick by me. To all the rest, I feel just like a mere ear to listen or a shoulder to lean on. 
  • I can't help but feel alone sometimes. The lonely kind of alone.
  • I've worked my butt off in school, sleep-deprived and shit, but it's never a big deal to my parents anymore. You're happy for me? That's it? It's quite frustrating. From now on, I won't expect anything. From now on, I'm doing this for myself. I don't care if I wear myself out 'cause it's when I feel like I have nothing to live for, I remind myself that I still have my grades to run to. It makes me feel that I'm at least worth something. It's stupid, I know. 
  •  I lack motivation. I  need a goal to reach. 
  • I'm never going to be good enough. It's shallow to think that I might not be good enough for other people's standards. Shit, why would I even care? But even to myself, I seem that way. 
  • Joy is sad. Incorrect statement. Thanks, Jan. 
  • Weekend, please don't fly by so fast. 
  • Aaah, I love Biology, ok? Please don't take that away from me. 

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