So this is my life, and I want you to know that I am both happy and sad, and the bag I bought just two days ago broke down this afternoon, and they laughed at me, and I laughed at myself, and I feel like a suckish person right now because of my inability to make things okay for you, for everybody, and I like hugs but I don't think you should do it too often unless you really really mean it, and my grandfather's back in the hospital, and my dad says that he's old, and he has a weak heart, and perhaps he won't live long in this condition, and my dad said that during dinner, and I sent God a quick prayer to give my lolo the will to live a little longer, because I know that will keep him alive somehow, because I cannot cope with my thoughts, much less death, because I cannot bear to see my mom and my grandmother and my aunts and my uncles  and my cousins cry

And now that I think about it, I am not "both happy and sad." I am just sad and the fact that I am sad once again makes me even sadder.

And Chryss, I heard my mom gave you a ride. I hope it wasn't awkward.

And I owe Carissa a birthday present via the Internet and I thought of sending her a birthday message but honestly, I don't have much to say. I think I'll make her a mix.