Hullo there, love.

• I miss blogging in bullets. 

• My body clock is on drugs. It's wasted and messed-up. 

• Imagine drowsing on and off until 2 am and not getting anything done, staying up until 5:30 am and finally getting an hour of sleep just to be late for school. Now, TELL ME HOW SLEEP DEPRIVED YOU ARE. 

• And I look absolutely horrid in my individual photo for the Dove. Absolutely horrid with ginormous grey bags painted under my eyes. I am a walking exhibit for the art of sleep deprivation. At least, it gave justice to the fact that I haven't had enough sleep in a week. 

• I feel like the world's inside joke sometimes. I don't get it. I really don't.  

• It's cliche, how everyone wants to go somewhere, where every single soul is a stranger and not one knows the slightest bit of information about you and what you left behind. I guess I'm cliche. I guess this strong urge to get out of here, out of this town, out of sight, out of mind is cliche. I just want to be something more than this; something more than a robot of an educational institution who teach us about democracy, but smother our voices; something more than just an emergency exit or a second choice; something more than just the girl they can push around.

• Sometimes, I wonder why I allow myself to be cooped up in the four dull and dreary walls of a classroom. I wonder why I listen to these teachers. I wonder why they chose this life of droning on and on and on  about finding the value of x, or about how J.J. Thomson thought the atom looked like a raisin bread, over and over again, school year after school year, when they can choose to grab a ticket to something more. I wonder why I take down notes and read my textbooks and take these mind cracking tests and feel bad afterwards when I get a low score. I mean, how hard would it be to choose to sleep over World History, a fulfilling lunch over Chemistry, procrastination over Geometry? How hard would it be to break the rules? But then I realize how stupid those thoughts are, as I'm transcending them into words. I'm stuck with this. Everyone has it all figured out, while I haven't had the slightest idea where I want to end up in the future. I'm stuck with this. 

• I have all these people around me, but I'm never sure of them. They frustrate me and they burn me out. I'm not saying I'm perfect. I frustrate myself in many more ways than one, but they come and they go and come back once again when they need your help, and it confuses me. I'm needy for consistency and some pleasant company.  

• But nonetheless, friendship appreciation bullet to the best people I have ever met in my whole 14-going-on-15 years of existence. I love you. You know who you are. 

• Have a lovely night.