15 and out of sorts

15, I did not wrap you in my embrace.
15, I did not adorn you with flowers
15, I did not open the door for you 
15, I’m sorry

15, I am happy. 
15, I am sad.
15, I am lonely. 
15, I am mad.

15, I lost myself.
15, the empty spaces grew flowers.
15, I lost you.
15, my flowers withered.

15, my body feels like a clay figure.
15, I am one size too big
15, and one size too small.
15, and a missing curve
15, and a wrong angle
15, and a crooked line
15, and a crack
15, I am flaw.     

15, I long for affection. 
15, I long for love.
15, I long to love.
15, I long to be loved.
15, I don’t need a lover.
15, I need a friend. 

15, I watched people change.  
15, but the grass stayed the same.
15, why is that so?  
15, I wouldn’t know.

15, high school friends aren’t forever.
15, but I have no regrets.
15, my heart  aches.
15, I’m tired.
15, I want to belong  somewhere.
15, I want to fit in.
15, on second thought, fuck it. 
15, I want to be different.                                                       

15, I hate Chemistry. 
15, I love poetry.       

15, and I get to kiss you baby just because I can. 
15, I have never been kissed.
15, but I love my best friend 
15, we sing along to this.    

15, I hate you 
15, go away
15, I love you 
15, won’t you stay?

15, you stopped calling.  
15, bring me back
15, bring me back. 
15, bring me back.