I don't know how to cope with death. Or denial. I don't know how to feel. I really don't.

I don't want to go to the wake, or see the casket, but I should. I should because I know I'll never believe it if I don't. 

I am not ready for a cryfest. I am not. I am not. I am not. 

They picked out a casket yesterday. I didn't know there are people who are passionate about building caskets....or selling them. That's cool. In a morbid sense. 

It's weird. I have this strong urge to do schoolwork now that I'm still emotionally stable. This + all the things I worry about.

Sigh